Liberals Really Are Lying Sacks of S**t

It was a close call for the fulminatin' one today. I was on my way home from meeting with a customer and, as I am wont to do, I turned on my local talk station. The local talker had on one of Premier McDickhead's ministers (Colleges and Technology or some such), and the "honourable minister fired off one of the standard Liberal tropes; that the Harris Tories "slashed" health care spending. The red curtain of blood descended, and I had to concentrate hard not to run into a ditch at 120 km/h.

At any rate, in reply I say, "Fuck off, fuckwit."

At greater length, have a look here. Scroll down a bit to find this chart:


Now, as I wrote to the talker, if words are to have meanings, they have to mean the same thing for everyone, leastwise if there is to be communication. In budgetary context, "cutting" is reducing spending. "Slashing" is massively reducing spending. To repeat myself, the Harris Tories increased health care spending every single year. No cutting, no slashing.

This leaves us a dichotomy. The "honourable" member either knows this, or he does not. If he knows it, he is just another lying sack of liberal shit. If he doesn't know it, he is too stupid or ill informed to be janitor in charge of replacing the urinal mints at Queen's Park, much less a minister for higher education and technology. You can probably guess which one I'm betting on.

Of course, to be charitable, he could be all of the above; stupid, ill informed, and a liar. Just not about this topic, not simultaneously.

You know what pissed me off the most, though? It wasn't that yet another McLimdick Minister lied about something. That's about as common as ice at the south pole. It wasn't the fact that the host let him get away with it. I'll be charitable and assume he simply doesn't know it to be a falsehood. It was the fact that Elizabeth Witmer, Harris' Minister of fucking Health from 1997 to 2001, was the next guest.

You can't tell me that the woman who presided over the annual budget increases didn't know that the budget, well, increased. Why the FUCK didn't she call the son of a bitch on the lie? I don't give a good fucking goddamn about collegiality, the man told a base lie about her ministry, and she let it go.

And so it enters deeper into the public consciousness, that the Harris Tories cut health care spending when they did no such fucking thing. Christ, Wikipedia flatly states that Witmer "presided over a controversial restructuring process which included a number of government cutbacks."

NO, SHE FUCKING DIDN'T, READ THE FUCKING BUDGET, OR LOOK AT THE FUCKING CHART. Increased budgets, EVERY FUCKING YEAR.

You know what else chafes my buns? Here we are, 6 fucking years after the lying pricks got elected, and it's still Liberal government policy to blame Harris. Hey, asspipes, guess what, it's yours, you own it. I know you're too fucking stupid to fix it, but please try not to fuck it up too much more before you get tossed out on your asses.

Shit, this ones long enough, and I haven't even gotten to Dickless Dalton's POS all day kindergarten program. Oh well, another time.

Heavy Metal Monday, Maple Leafs Finally Win One Edition

Well, the tag is gonna have to be Maple Leafs suck because, well, they do. But at least they finally won a game.

Actually, I watched the third period of Hockey Night in Canada on Saturday and a few thoughts struck me.

First, the Leafs, although they suck, and can't score a goal to save their lives win a game, at least seemed interested in beating Vancouver. Incapable, as it happens, but at least interested.

Second, amongst my old fogies team, and my old guys shinny groups, the consensus seems to be that one of the reasons the Leafs are going nowhere is that Wilson refuses to name a captain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not enough talent, no leaders, blah, blah, blah. First off, talent schmalent, where is it written that your best player needs must be the captain? How many times has a remarkable talent been given the "C," only to crash and burn (Vincent LeCavalier anyone)? And no leaders? Well, give someone the "C," and he either grows into it, or you give it to someone else. Won't necessarily ruin him (Vincent LeCavalier anyone) and it will address an aching need.

Anyway, Thursday I got to thinking that maybe Ian White is that guy. He's popular in the dressing room (nominated for the Masterton trophy for perserverance and dedication to hockey), done everything the team asked of him, including sucking up 11 games in the press box whilst "better" prospects got their look, then played back into the lineup as a winger, and has emerged second to Kaberle in ice time, all the while being a plus on this team of minuses.

So, Ronnie boy, howzabout it, Ian White for captain?

Third, whilst watching the game, streamed over cbc.ca, I note that the CBC has upped its streaming bandwidth. Good. I really don't want to pay for cable to watch these palookas.

Fourth, it would surely suck to be a non-French speaking Montreal fan. After the Leafs' game, the broadcast switched over to the Montreal game, and who was doing the play by play? Bob "adenoids," "call the score and the time, not the play," "senile, yet stupid," "god why won't they retire this guy," "somewhere there's a village missing an idiot" Cole. That's how low you rate, Anglo Montreal fans. Bob Cole is too useless for the LEAFS, so the CB frickin' C sticks you with him. To quote that great moral philosopher, Nelson Muntz, "Hah, hah."

Fifth, I have no idea, thematically, what to use for this belated Heavy Metal Monday.

Howzabout one of the classics? Since you gotta be crazy to be a Leafs fan, let us take a ride on the Crazy Train.

2 Seconds Left and the Farking Senators Tie the Game

Okay, so Thursday is old guy hockey night, and the fulminatin' one was off to the rink. We won, and a few of us went to Boston Pizza to celebrate. They had the Ottawa - Nashville game on the tube. Okay, I can watch this. Maybe Ottawa will lose, and god will smile.

I look up, and Ottawa scored to make it 3 - 1. Okay, two goal lead, Dirty Dan and the losers from the capital are down.

I look up again, and they're changing stations. Bastards, there's very little I enjoy more than seeing a player I loathe on the losing end of a game.

I look up again, and the game's back, and it's 4 - 3 Nashville. Durn, but the clock is running down, Ottawa still looks good for a loss.

Oh, shit, they've tied it. That sucks. But wait, Nashville scores with under a minute to go. Just play the last minute safe.

No, you stupid fucking goalie, don't pass the puck to fucking Alfredson. I can't stand the dirty, smarmy, selfish little prick, but he is a good hockey player, and can pass the puck if the notion enters his pointy little head. Aaaarrrggghhh, 2 seconds left and Ottawa ties it.

Okay, okay, so Nashville scored in overtime to win, Ottawa still got a point out of it. You know, when Ottawa loses, god smiles. When they win, he kills a little kitten. I don't know about overtime losses, but I'm thinking at the least, that baby kitteh was given an unnecessary bath.

I know this post isn't about the Leafs, but I'm going to lable it Maple Leafs suck because, well, they do.

Broken Clock Theory Proven, McGuinty Gets One Right

Okay, I've been known to be a little harsh on the ferret-faced crapweasel we have for a Premier, but I'm a fair minded kind of guy. After all I'm not a conservative partisan, hell I'm not even a conservative, nor am I really anti-Liberal. Okay, I lied there, I really am anti-Liberal, but that's not because I'm a conservative, it's because I'm anti-asshole, and the left side of the political spectrum is a veritable magnet for bungholes in human form.

Having said that, it's time to give props to Premier McShithead. Yes, I said it, Dalton McNumbnuts actually got one right, proving again that even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut, and even a blind, retarded, spineless, corrupt, ferret-faced crapweasel can discover reality if it smacks him hard enough on the nose.

What am I talking about? This. McDickead actually came out in favour of a boys only school. It only took 30 years of trying to turn them into little girls, doping them up if they couldn't pay attention, and destroying their educational prospects and futures, for the geniuses in charge of the education system to notice that girls are doing better, and doing so at the expense of boys.

Did I say the expense of boys? Yes I did. From 1979 to 2001, women went from 40% to 56% of undergraduates. By 2005, 58% of graduate students were women, and over 60% of med school students are women.

Coincidence? Well, maybe. Maybe changing the curriculum to girl friendly had no effect at all. Maybe all that effort to make it easier for girls to pursue higher education just helped them, without hindering the boys at all. Maybe. Ahhh, who am I fucking kidding. There has been a dirty little war on boys for decades. The 3rd wave feminists hate us, and they've been actively trying to destroy us.

Don't believe me? How many women engineering students are there? Not terribly many, might be as high as 25%. How many men nursing students are there? A whole lot less than there are women in engineering. How many "crisis in nursing...more men needed" stories have you seen? How about the reverse case for engineering? What faculty is out there actively seeking to balance its existing sex imbalance? I'll give you a hint. It ain't nursing.

So, to conclude, Dalton McGuinty is still a corrupt, spineless, tax grabbing, back stabbing, lying crapweasel, but I gotta say, he did get this one right. Too bad the edumacators will find some way to sabotage it, so that the project to neuter the Canadian man can proceed apace.

Beautiful Asian Women in Bikinis

Okay, first, posting again has blown some of the commuting stress out of my head. Fuck me but Southern Ontario drivers, especially those in, or commuting to, the GTA are a pack of fucking morons. Second, although posting is fun again, something's missing. What? Well, read the damned hed.

First we have Arisa Oda in white.



Now in red.



Also in red, Eiko Koike.



And last but certainly not least, Inoue Waka


There, I feel better, how about you?

The Maple Leafs Suck, Part of a Continuing Series.

You know, Brian Burke was brought in to fix this fucking team. I'm on record as having said that the defensive upgrades ought to be good enough to get them to the playoffs. Looks like crow might just be on ol' Fulminandrew's April diet.

What the fuck is going on? They got bigger, tougher and meaner. They got a decent quality checking centre and a backup who can stop the puck. What gives? I dunno. Will Kessel's entrance into the lineup next month make a difference? I dunno. They're 10% into the season and they aren't just losing, they're getting smoked, nightly.

Guys, shape up. I put myself on record that you're better than last year, and I still think you are. There, I've doubled down, so, dammit, play like you mean it.

And trade Toskela. You can always use a few more pucks at practice.

Why Canada Sucks, Part VI, We're All Fascists Now

God DAMN I hate this fucking country. This is going to be a hard post to write, because there is just too much fucking material to sort through. I'll try not to get too excessive with it, though.

First, a matter of definitions. Fascism is a slippery word, so much so that, in the introduction to his book Liberal Fascism, Jonah Goldberg spills a fair bit of ink in attempting to pin down a definition of fascism, because the main problem is that there really isn't one. He eventually comes to a broad definition, which I can't reproduce, as I borrowed it from the library when I was unemployed and broke. A good working definition would be "Whatever Liberals hate," but that's of little use.

Instead let us turn to dictionary.reference.com, which gives the following:

a governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism

Aha, that's how we define those evil, right wing, fascist bastards. Nazzo fast, Guido, let's parse this. Leave aside the absolute dictator, and see if there's anything in there that might seem a bit, I don't know, left wing. You know, like regimenting (i.e. regulating) all industry, commerce, etc., suppressing opposition criticism ("Human Rights" Commissions), aggressive nationalism (Liberal MP Carolyn "Americans, I hate those bastards" Parrish) and racism (Bobo the Clown, Bob "White men need not apply" Rae).

Hmm, fits the Liberal and NDP to a fucking "T," doesn't it? Especially when you consider that the closest thing to an absolute dictator, outside of actual dictatorships, is a Canadian 1st Minister with a majority government. Don't believe me? Did Johnny Cretin change his mind for anyone when he was corrupting up 24 Sussex Dr. Did Brian Baloney before him, or the late, unlamented and never to be sufficiently cursed Pierre Elliot fucking Trudeau? No? Didn't think so.

So, if we dispense with the nonsense that Fascism is a conservative ideology, we come to the conlcusion it is a Liberal ideology. Which brings us to a few events of late.

Dalton fucking McGuinty. Untendered contracts resulting in the pissing away of a billion dollars to Liberal friendly firms. Who the fuck does he think he is, giving my money away to his friends like that, Chretien? Oh, and if you think he's not a fascist fucker, is anyone getting fired for this? Or is he stonewalling, since he has a majority and can do whatever he wants.

Speaking of whatever he wants, how many of you want the tax hike represented by the HST? Anyone? Really. Hmm, think that 70% in opposition is going to stop it? Absolute dictator anyone?

Lest you think I'm picking solely on our main source of fascists, the Liberals, how about Prime Minister Ringo Starr and the proposed changes to RIDE programs. At least right now they have to have an officer sniff your breath before they violate your rights. The new proposal is just to randomly pull people over to butt rape their rights. Think that's not fascist?

And why do I entitle this post "We're All Fascists Now?" Well, remember when the province tried to make bike helmets mandatory for everyone? It was probably Bobo the Clown, but I don't really remember, and whoever it was, isn't the point. Now McShithead wants to make ski helments mandatory. Hey, Dalton, fuck off. It's my fucking head, and I'll do with it as I please, you fascist fuck. But I digress.

When I first heard the story, it was one of the local talkers, who asked his listeners to call or write in with their opinions. Not one, NOT A FUCKING ONE, opined that it's none of the provinces fucking business to regulate ski helmet use. "...regimenting all business, commerce, etc..."

Hey, Ontario, if you want to wear a ski helmet, WEAR A FUCKING SKI HELMET. You can do this without there being a law to make you, you know. You stupid fascist fuckers.

Smoking laws. Seatbelt laws. Business regulations. Banking regulations. Your fireplace. Your toilet. There is nothing, NOTHING in your life that these pricks don't want control over. And they'll get it. Do you know why they'll get it? First, because a Canadian first minister with a majority government is the closest thing to an absolute dictator in the developed world, second, they frame as much as possible as a health care issure and third, we're a nation of pussies, too afraid to stand up for our rights.

Smoking regulations? Health care. Cook up some bullshit study about second hand smoke and you can regulate it to death.

Seatbelts? Helmets? Health care. If you get hurt, it's on the public dime, so the govt has a financial responsibility to fuck your rights.

Salt, fat, meat, and anything else that tastes good? Heart disease, diabetes and colon cancer.

Explain this to the average Canadian (and use small words so there's a chance the moron will get it), and see if he manages to draw the obvious conclusion. If you want to live free. Either leave Canada, or end the health care monopoly. That won't deal with the busy body assholes who just can't stand to see someone having fun, but it will yank the pins out from under the "Well, the govt is paying for your health care, so they have the right to tell you how to live" argument.

Of course, even if you convince the average Canadian pussy that freedom from govt health care is a good thing, he'll never actually voice the thought out loud, for fear of sounding unCanadian. There's nothing worse than be outed as being in favour of "Two Tier, American Style Health Care." Hell, I think the gutless wimps in this country think that if you express that opinion, they'll strip you of your citizenship or, worse yet, ban you from Tim Horton's for life.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate this fucking country?

Celebutard Parents Heavy Metal (Not Quite) Monday

Hmm, I see I haven't posted anything in 3 weeks. That's a whole lot of beautiful asian women in bikinis not gawked at, and 3 Heavy Metal Mondays sadly lacking in metal. And I see through site meter that people are still dropping by, and staying for several minutes. I guess I'd best get pixel to screen, here.

Let's get up a belated Heavy Metal Monday in honour of the assholes in Colorado, who pretended to accidentally launch their 6 y/o son into the stratosphere, in a homemade balloon. You know the boneheads I mean, the ones who were using it as a publicity stunt for his upcoming "reality tv" show.

First off, Mrs. Fulminandrew tells me that, due to the negative publicity, the network has pulled the plug on the show. Jeebus, I hope so. 'Tis said there is no bad publicity, but this seems to be bad enough that the shitheads are losing their show. Good.

Second, criminal charges? Don't think so. Stupidity is its own reward. Simply charge them for the costs of the search; personnel charges, equipment charges, fuel, etc. Then double or triple it for the nuisance factor. Then make sure they're civilly liable for any harm to anyone who needed the services, but couldn't get them as they were busy off on a wild goose chase. Then parade them down West Colfax in Denver, naked. Then leave them to rot in obscurity.

Third. Judas Pries on a pogo stick, people. You thought you could use a six y/o boy in a stunt like this, and the truth wouldn't come out? What are you, fucking retarded? Bill Cosby built an entire TV show around getting kids to say things their parents didn't want them to. It ain't hard.

Fourth, to our honoured members of the fourth estate, LEAVE THE POOR KID ALONE YOU JACKALS. Mrs. Fulminandrew also tells me that the poor kid is physically ill in interviews. The poor little guy knows he's done something to hurt his parents. Parents who, if they're worth a bucket of warm spit, have not punished him, in any way shape or form, for letting the cat out of the bag. Whether they have or not, he knows, and it's tearing him up. So, again, leave the poor kid alone. It's not about him, its about his shithead of a father.

You know, without going off on a rant here, let me just say that I am sick unto death with parents who think their kids exist for them. No, asspipes, that's backwards; you exist for your children. Your only raison d'etre, until they're out the door and on their own, is to get them there, reasonably intact, able to care for themselves and no burden to society. They're not your cash cows (I'm looking at you, Jo Jackson), their not you tools (Heeney family) and they sure as shit aren't your weapons (Shithead and Shithead from the Shithead and Shithead Plus Eight show).

Inspired by how fucking tired I am of celebutard parents, I give you Ozzy Osbourne.



Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a love ballad, but I'm still fucking tired of celebutard parents.

As always, when I indulge in a ballad, I shall attempt to clean the palette. So, in keeping with the children of celebutards motif, here is Iron Maiden's Children of the Damned.