Heavy Metal Monday, Maple Leafs Finally Win One Edition

Well, the tag is gonna have to be Maple Leafs suck because, well, they do. But at least they finally won a game.

Actually, I watched the third period of Hockey Night in Canada on Saturday and a few thoughts struck me.

First, the Leafs, although they suck, and can't score a goal to save their lives win a game, at least seemed interested in beating Vancouver. Incapable, as it happens, but at least interested.

Second, amongst my old fogies team, and my old guys shinny groups, the consensus seems to be that one of the reasons the Leafs are going nowhere is that Wilson refuses to name a captain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not enough talent, no leaders, blah, blah, blah. First off, talent schmalent, where is it written that your best player needs must be the captain? How many times has a remarkable talent been given the "C," only to crash and burn (Vincent LeCavalier anyone)? And no leaders? Well, give someone the "C," and he either grows into it, or you give it to someone else. Won't necessarily ruin him (Vincent LeCavalier anyone) and it will address an aching need.

Anyway, Thursday I got to thinking that maybe Ian White is that guy. He's popular in the dressing room (nominated for the Masterton trophy for perserverance and dedication to hockey), done everything the team asked of him, including sucking up 11 games in the press box whilst "better" prospects got their look, then played back into the lineup as a winger, and has emerged second to Kaberle in ice time, all the while being a plus on this team of minuses.

So, Ronnie boy, howzabout it, Ian White for captain?

Third, whilst watching the game, streamed over cbc.ca, I note that the CBC has upped its streaming bandwidth. Good. I really don't want to pay for cable to watch these palookas.

Fourth, it would surely suck to be a non-French speaking Montreal fan. After the Leafs' game, the broadcast switched over to the Montreal game, and who was doing the play by play? Bob "adenoids," "call the score and the time, not the play," "senile, yet stupid," "god why won't they retire this guy," "somewhere there's a village missing an idiot" Cole. That's how low you rate, Anglo Montreal fans. Bob Cole is too useless for the LEAFS, so the CB frickin' C sticks you with him. To quote that great moral philosopher, Nelson Muntz, "Hah, hah."

Fifth, I have no idea, thematically, what to use for this belated Heavy Metal Monday.

Howzabout one of the classics? Since you gotta be crazy to be a Leafs fan, let us take a ride on the Crazy Train.