Why Canada Sucks, Part VI, We're All Fascists Now

God DAMN I hate this fucking country. This is going to be a hard post to write, because there is just too much fucking material to sort through. I'll try not to get too excessive with it, though.

First, a matter of definitions. Fascism is a slippery word, so much so that, in the introduction to his book Liberal Fascism, Jonah Goldberg spills a fair bit of ink in attempting to pin down a definition of fascism, because the main problem is that there really isn't one. He eventually comes to a broad definition, which I can't reproduce, as I borrowed it from the library when I was unemployed and broke. A good working definition would be "Whatever Liberals hate," but that's of little use.

Instead let us turn to dictionary.reference.com, which gives the following:

a governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism

Aha, that's how we define those evil, right wing, fascist bastards. Nazzo fast, Guido, let's parse this. Leave aside the absolute dictator, and see if there's anything in there that might seem a bit, I don't know, left wing. You know, like regimenting (i.e. regulating) all industry, commerce, etc., suppressing opposition criticism ("Human Rights" Commissions), aggressive nationalism (Liberal MP Carolyn "Americans, I hate those bastards" Parrish) and racism (Bobo the Clown, Bob "White men need not apply" Rae).

Hmm, fits the Liberal and NDP to a fucking "T," doesn't it? Especially when you consider that the closest thing to an absolute dictator, outside of actual dictatorships, is a Canadian 1st Minister with a majority government. Don't believe me? Did Johnny Cretin change his mind for anyone when he was corrupting up 24 Sussex Dr. Did Brian Baloney before him, or the late, unlamented and never to be sufficiently cursed Pierre Elliot fucking Trudeau? No? Didn't think so.

So, if we dispense with the nonsense that Fascism is a conservative ideology, we come to the conlcusion it is a Liberal ideology. Which brings us to a few events of late.

Dalton fucking McGuinty. Untendered contracts resulting in the pissing away of a billion dollars to Liberal friendly firms. Who the fuck does he think he is, giving my money away to his friends like that, Chretien? Oh, and if you think he's not a fascist fucker, is anyone getting fired for this? Or is he stonewalling, since he has a majority and can do whatever he wants.

Speaking of whatever he wants, how many of you want the tax hike represented by the HST? Anyone? Really. Hmm, think that 70% in opposition is going to stop it? Absolute dictator anyone?

Lest you think I'm picking solely on our main source of fascists, the Liberals, how about Prime Minister Ringo Starr and the proposed changes to RIDE programs. At least right now they have to have an officer sniff your breath before they violate your rights. The new proposal is just to randomly pull people over to butt rape their rights. Think that's not fascist?

And why do I entitle this post "We're All Fascists Now?" Well, remember when the province tried to make bike helmets mandatory for everyone? It was probably Bobo the Clown, but I don't really remember, and whoever it was, isn't the point. Now McShithead wants to make ski helments mandatory. Hey, Dalton, fuck off. It's my fucking head, and I'll do with it as I please, you fascist fuck. But I digress.

When I first heard the story, it was one of the local talkers, who asked his listeners to call or write in with their opinions. Not one, NOT A FUCKING ONE, opined that it's none of the provinces fucking business to regulate ski helmet use. "...regimenting all business, commerce, etc..."

Hey, Ontario, if you want to wear a ski helmet, WEAR A FUCKING SKI HELMET. You can do this without there being a law to make you, you know. You stupid fascist fuckers.

Smoking laws. Seatbelt laws. Business regulations. Banking regulations. Your fireplace. Your toilet. There is nothing, NOTHING in your life that these pricks don't want control over. And they'll get it. Do you know why they'll get it? First, because a Canadian first minister with a majority government is the closest thing to an absolute dictator in the developed world, second, they frame as much as possible as a health care issure and third, we're a nation of pussies, too afraid to stand up for our rights.

Smoking regulations? Health care. Cook up some bullshit study about second hand smoke and you can regulate it to death.

Seatbelts? Helmets? Health care. If you get hurt, it's on the public dime, so the govt has a financial responsibility to fuck your rights.

Salt, fat, meat, and anything else that tastes good? Heart disease, diabetes and colon cancer.

Explain this to the average Canadian (and use small words so there's a chance the moron will get it), and see if he manages to draw the obvious conclusion. If you want to live free. Either leave Canada, or end the health care monopoly. That won't deal with the busy body assholes who just can't stand to see someone having fun, but it will yank the pins out from under the "Well, the govt is paying for your health care, so they have the right to tell you how to live" argument.

Of course, even if you convince the average Canadian pussy that freedom from govt health care is a good thing, he'll never actually voice the thought out loud, for fear of sounding unCanadian. There's nothing worse than be outed as being in favour of "Two Tier, American Style Health Care." Hell, I think the gutless wimps in this country think that if you express that opinion, they'll strip you of your citizenship or, worse yet, ban you from Tim Horton's for life.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate this fucking country?