Thursday, July 1, 2010

Happy Dominion Farking Day

Okay, so it's Dominion Day, which means, I suppose, it's time for the obligatory Jingoist, "I love Canada post." Fuck that. This country sucks. Even worse, this province (Ontario) sucks. "Happy Dominion Day?" On the day that lying crapweasel McGuinty piles another thousand bucks onto my tax bill? No, I don't think so.

Anyhoo, before getting to what I actually want to write about, to all you people calling Canada "The greatest country in the world," and I do hear that several times a year, I say to you all a hearty FUCK OFF.

Canada may once have been great. Canada certainly once had great potential. Then Canada had the late, unlamented and never to be sufficiently cursed Pierre fucking Eliot fucking Trudeau. Whatever greatness we might have had, whatever greatness we might have achieved, was promptly flushed straight down the shitter. Take any measure of greatness you care to name, and Canada AIN'T number one.

Fuck, great countries do not rename their national holidays. Independence day, unchanged in 234 years, Bastille Day, unchanged in 221 years. Dominion Day, renamed illegally in 1982 under the auspices of, you guessed it, the late, unlamented and never to be sufficiently cursed Pierre fucking Eliot fucking Trudeau.

Great countries do not willy nilly replace their flags with a trademark created in the image of the political party in power (hint, the fucker is red, and the fucking Liberals think of themselves as Canada's "natural governing party"). Hell, great countries don't have "natural governing parties," banana republics do. And great countries do not consider themselves great because of socialist bullshit passed by the likes of PET's rancid piece of shit predecessor, Lester Pearson. You know, the guy who, in addition to foisting that stupid fucking "flag" on us, gave us Canada Health care, nationalized student loans and the Canada Pension Plan. In his defense, he was aided and abetted by the foul Commie pusbag known as Tommy Douglas. So, you know, it's not just the LUANTBSCPFEFT Liberals who are to blame for Canada's fall from near/potentially great to Banana republic. There were other Liberal, the NDP, and the stupid fucks who voted for them.

Anyway, this is a flag:

This is a trademark:

Why, just last week we hosted the G7 and G20 conferences. I saw surveys about how admired we are by various third world pissholes. Great countries are not admired. They are feared. They are envied. To be a nation "admired" is to be a second rater, a once was, a never was, or a never could have been.

Oh, yes, Canadians are so polite. And they breed such fine hockey players. And they lose with such grace. And they have no ability whatsoever to project power, so they can't push back when we fuck with them. I do admire them so. Pussies.

Fuck it, on to the topic to hand.

Seems during the G20 our illustrious "conservative" Prime Minister saw fit to piss a billion dollars away on security. Much of that went to the Toronto gun totin' bureaucrat force, for extra special, super duper ninja equipment. Which they put to good use as they stood around while police cars burned. Nice work officers, sorry you forgot the marshmallows and wieners.

That's okay, though, at least they made up for letting violent thugs destroy property, both private and public, while publicly humiliating them (the cops) by harassing middle aged people with video cameras. And wearing the dreaded black t-shirt, blocks away from the protests. That third link certainly provides an interesting set of comments. "Oh, jeez Mike, if you'd only bent over and let them anally do you, then they wouldn't have been at all rude. And it's all your own fault anyway, because you were there, wearing a black t shirt."

I'm going to swing the clue bat here, people. THE FUCKING POLICE ARE FUCKING PUBLIC SERVANTS. YOU CAN BE AS RUDE AND OBNOXIOUS TO THEM AS YOU WANT, AND THEIR JOB, SO LONG AS YOU ARE NOT BREAKING THE LAW, IS TO SMILE, SWALLOW YOUR BULLSHIT AND SAY, "Mmm, yummy, thank you sir, have a nice day." Anything else, ANYTHING else, is a violation of your natural rights. Not your "Charter Rights," the Charter is a badly written piece of shit foisted on us by, yes, the late, unlamented and never to be sufficiently cursed Pierre fucking Eliot fucking Trudeau. Mike Brock wasn't breaking the law, and they don't get to arrest you, they don't get to detain you, they don't get to be fucking rude to you, if you're not breaking the law.

I know, I know, it's a tough job, the Black Bloc was out, they only want to get home safe...blah, blah, blah. Don't like the job? Don't take it. Or quit. I'll say it again, police are public servants. They work for us, they don't rule us. So I'll say it again. Don't like the job? Tough shit, no one drafted you. You want to swagger around packing heat? Well, there's a downside. Don't like the downside? Quit so we can hire someone who isn't a flaming asshole.

Ownership of your body. Ownership of your time, the fruits of your labours, the right to defend same, by whatever means, and with whatever violence necessary. Speech, conscience, worship, assembly. These are rights, but without property rights (the first three listed), they are vapour. We. Don't. Have. Property. Rights. Or, rather, we (naturally) have property rights, but our constitution and government are set up to abrogate and violate those rights in minute detail.

Hmm, I was intending this to be a missive on trust in society, and I was going to link it to the G20, and maybe tie in Caledonia, and the massive suckitude of Canada due to the breakdown of trust in society. And how the break down in trust leads to a bunker mentality with the police leading to bullshit as mentioned above. I also had some thoughts on law and order, and it's erosion in the breakdown of the trust society, and how the fucking leftoids have wreaked havoc on it with the over legislated, over regulated state, but I'm out of steam.

Fuck it, here's some more Ozzie. Have I already done "Crazy Train?" If so, here it is again.

And some more Arch Enemy. Have I already done "Blood on Your Hands?" If so, here it is again.

Maybe some Goth Metal next time.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Hockey Wrapup

Okay, time to clear the decks a bit. Let's start with hockey.

Hoo boy did I miss the boat on the Loaf's season. I seem to recall opining that they'd be in tough to make the playoffs, but there was no particular reason they couldn't do it. Hmm, 29th place in a 30 team league. Yeah, that crow I had for dinner in March was simply delicious.

Okay, I was way wrong on the result, but I stand by my analysis. There was no reason that the Leafs, as they were constituted in the pre season, shouldn't have been at least contending for a playoff spot, leastwise on paper. There was something poisonous in that dressing room. Dunno what it was, but, considering the talent that was there, and the additions Burke made, they really ought not to have been a 29th place team. I guess that's why we have the play games, to determine such things.

Oh, and to all the people castigating Burke for selling the farm for Phil Kessel. His analysis was probably not that different from mine. The team should not have placed 29th, so he should not have been giving up a franchise player in the draft. So, when he says, he'd do the trade over again he's not being an idiot, he's simply admitting that with the information he had at the time, it was a decent trade. Unless, of course, he's saying that he considers Kessel to be a franchise player, in which case he really is a fucking idiot.


So, the Blackhawks have ended their 49 year cup drought, leaving the Leafs as the team with the longest running drought. Think they'll win it before 2016? Or are they going to enter Rangers territory for time between cups. If I were a betting man, I'd say, watch out Rangers, your 54 year record of futility is officially under challenge.

Anyway, on to the cup. A friend lives in very much not a hockey hotbed, and has a friend who's a Flyers fan. I wrote to him that, while knowing a Flyers fan would suck, hey, look on the bright side, they lost.

Yes, Mary Ann "the passenger" Hossa finally found a team with the talent and drive to carry his useless, moody, over paid, talented yet under performing, eye-hacking ass to a Stanley Cup parade. Only took 4 teams and 3 finals to do it. An what a tribute it is to Toews. Crosby couldn't get Hossa a cup. The freaking Stockholm Red Wings couldn't get him a cup, but Toews, Kane, et all could.

Y'know, ol' fulminandrew must confess, it got really fucking tiring hearing the commentary during these playoffs. Hossa this, Hossa that and Hossa the other. He must have been really valuable, right? Like the fucking MVP, right? No, wait, that was Toews. So he must have won the playoff scoring race then. No, that was Briere (followed by Toews, who saw the best defense and checkers every shift). Okay, then, he must have scored the cup winner, at least. No, that was Kane. Hmm, tell me again why Mr. October is worth 50 million dollars? Oh, got it, the other team is afraid for their vision.

And speaking of obnoxious fans. Yes, Flyers fans are assholes, but they don't have a patch on Montreal fans. Would I like to see the cup come back to Canada? Hell yeah. Would I cheer for that city to be Montreal? Hell no, and not because I'm a Leafs fan. Because I can't fucking stand Montreal fans. Consider the team without Patrick Roy in 86 and 93. Do they win the cup? 86 possibly, but unlikely, 93, not only no, but HELL NO. So, really, since the team fired Bowman back in, what, 1980, it's been as poorly run a piece of shit as the Leafs. Just try to get a Montreal fan to admit it.

Yeah, but they had Roy in 86 and 93, and won the cup. Won the cup, yes, but not because of the brilliance with which the team was run. Hell, look at this year's team. Was that a final 4 team? Don't think so, that was a final 4 goaltending performance. But that's okay, Montreal, you keep signing 2nd line players for 1st line money, and while you're at it, sign Halak to a monster deal. Maybe he is the next Roy/Brodeur. And maybe he will single handedly win you another cup.

Read in the Sun today that now is Gary the weasel's chance to do hockey some good. Ride the momentum of the highest rated final in years to expand hockey. Quick, seize the opportunity to get franchises in Winnipeg, Quebec and Southern Ontario.

Dude, what the fuck are you smoking? Bettman is going to ride his "hockey in the sun belt" hobby horse until either (1) the governors come to their senses and fire the schmuck, or (2) the league goes bankrupt. Seriously, in the 90's the man couldn't get hockey out of Canada fast enough, and still wants to move to Kansas and Vegas. NHL hockey back to Canada? Bettman ain't gonna do it. This would be the man who talked the league into buying the Coyotes to keep them in the desert (where they lost another 20 mil this year). Back to the 'Peg? Please.

Enough. Serious crapola to follow.

And maybe more hot Asian chicks.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

5 months?

Holy crap, I haven't wandered by here in almost 5 months. I keep composing posts in my mind, but then never seem to get around to typing them out. In my defense, it's been a busy start to 2010...

Mrs. Fulminandrew delivered us a new boy a couple of months ago. He came in reasonably big, 8 lbs 3 oz, but was almost 5 weeks early. Unfortunately that came with lung/breathing issues that our local, underfunded (thanks a whole lot, McScumbag, you piece of shit) hospital is unable to deal with, so, we had a week at a real hospital in Toronto. In the end everything turned out fine, he came home, is eating and growing like a weed.

At the same time, work got nuts. My job requirements changed, and I had to go through a pile of retraining. Fortunately, I'm able to do it all by remote, but with the relocation to Toronto for a week, followed by taking care of Mummy with a hole in her tummy and newborn, and jealous 2 year old, my time was stretched thin.

Then the real work pile hit. Long days at the job site, followed by more retraining/qualifying at home. Along with all the life issues. Heh, heh, it's a damned good thing I'm already pretty much certifiable, or April through now would have driven me nuts. The shit continues, but is finally coming under control.

Enough of my tale of woe. On to important Asian women in's the marvelously endowed Ourei Harada.

And the equally marvelously endowed Anna Ohurale.

And the spectacularly endowed Rio Natsume.

And heavy metal videos. Here, for no reason other than the fact that the song title amuses me, is Tool; Hooker With a Penis. Well, that and the fact that, though not my favourite band, I like Tool.

We'll get back to the crapola in a future post.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I'm Baaaack

Well, that was a while, wasn't it? I haven't posted anything since early December. No reason for it, the muse simply failed to strike. Okay, the muse is back, inspired by the Dem's loss in the Massachusetts special election.

Before I get to my comments, first, let's set the stage. Ol' Swimmer Ted, finally receiving a little of the karmic redress he's so dearly deserved, for so many years, contracts brain cancer. I read somewhere, and I hope it's true, that the type he had was particularly painful. It cannot undo anything the murderous, treasonous swine did in his long and infamous senate career, but it puts a little into the payback column. I just wish I could believe, as Emperor Misha does, that there is a Hell, a place of fire and brimstone, where the Drunken Lifeguard will spend eternity roasting on a spit...where the spit is "Satan's barbed cock," and the lecherous loser is rotating on it about his rectal passage. Unfortunately, I can take no solace in that. Ahh, well, as I say, at least he died in pain.

In addition, he died leaving one of his great Life's Projects incomplete. There they were, poised to pass the health care waiting list act, and Buick's worst spokesman up and dies. Now they have to fill his seat. Fortunately, Massachusetts law requires that (a) an empty federal senate seat be filled by Gubernatorial appointment, and (b) Mass has a Democrat governor.

Oh, wait, no, (a) is no longer the case. In 2004, when it looked like Johnny Treason was going to unseat Bumbletongue Bush for the presidency, the Mass legislature changed the rules. See, they had a RINO governor at the time, and a thin senate majority. If Romney had the power to appoint the new senator, he might appoint a Republican, thinning (or erasing, I forget) the Dem majority. Guess who urged the legislature to make the change. That's right, Treason Ted himself.

Fast forward; Chappaquiddick Ted is dying, and the Dems have a 60 seat supermajority. So old "I never drink my scotch straight up, I always mix it...with vodka" suggests the state house change the rule back. The optics of this are terrible, and hell, it's Mass, which hasn't elected a Repub to national office since the Medieval Warming Period, so, no change, and they have a special election.

The candidate for the Dems, Martha Coakley, is a disaster. And should probably be in prison for prosecutorial misconduct. But, she has a "D" after her name, and she does have statewide recognition, having been elected to statewide office. The Repub's candidate, Scott Brown hasn't these advantages. He does however, come with his own advantages, namely, Martha Coakley and pResident Uh-bama.

Long story short, for the first time since dinosaurs walked the earth, Massachusetts elected a Repub. Result, the Dem supermajority is gone, and Kennedy's pet project is in serious shit, in fact, probably toast.

My reaction...


Whew, let me catch my breath here...


Oh, lord, the irony is so creamy and rich I, in Ace's formulation, want to whip out my balls and dip them in it.

A few years back, during a spat between the Dicksuck Chicks and Toby Keith, there appeared a tee shirt for Dipsy Slut fans, the not too subtle FUTK.

I'm thinking we resurrect those letters. And rejoice that, hopefully, evil two tiered American health care continues to exist, so that cutting edge medicine continues to advance, and there is a pressure outlet for all the crappy socialized medical systems. And, what the hell, it will make Canadians happy, since they'll still have the existence of our piss poor socialized medical system to help them fell superior to Americans.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

McHitler, You Really Are an Asshole

Have I already used that title for a post? I don't think so, I haven't called the seedy little shit we have for a premier Hitler yet. I think. Oh, well, I'm not a real believer in Godwin's law anyway, so fuck it. You don't like me likening him to a fascist, maybe he shouldn't act like one. Fuck off out of the country and have his henchmen ram one of the greatest tax hikes in provincial history through by procedural manouvre? And then have the sheer unmitigated fucking gall to tell us how good it's going to be for us? Fuck off Dalton. May I call you Dalton? I know in polite company you don't call a man by his first name unless he asks you to, but, well, I'm not feeling very polite, so fuck it, and fuck you, Dalton.

Anyway, the corrupt little fuck is off pissing our tax dollars away on a junket to India. I guess protocol required he take his fingers out of his ears and stop screaming, "La la la la, I can't hear you objecting to the HST, la la la la" At least long enough to say, "Fuck off taxpayers, I'll do what I want, I'm a Liberal with a majority government." I quote from memory.

Seriously, though, the incompetent, functional retard said basically that, although he phrased it more along the lines of, "We're going to bring in the HST because a modern Ontario needs a modern tax system, and this will help make us competitive going forward." Umm, dickhead, how, exactly? And feel free to use one syllable words, since, well, that's all your stunted intellect can handle, anyway.

If we're lucky, we're just easing out of a really bad recession. Raising taxes is one REALLY good way to take a fragile recovery and guarantee that it's merely the upswing of a double dip recession. Jeebus, this jackass has the "How to turn a cyclic recession into a major depression" handbook, and he's running it step by step.

Idiotic spending and borrowing levels. Check.
Major new spending initiatives. Check.
Disappear money down the corruptocrat rat hole. Check.
Raise taxes. Check.

Great, zippy, just fucking great. Mrs. Fulminandrew and I are doing okay. Not great, but okay; we're making it through, but this extra thousand bucks you're going to hoover out of our pockets is going to hurt. I can't imagine what it's going to do to the poor bastards on EI, fixed income, pensions, or scraping by paycheck to paycheck.

They say you get the government you deserve. That's bullshit. The stupid fuckers who voted Liberal and NDP get the government they deserve. What the fuck did I, and all the other actually productive residents of Ontario, do to deserve the Dalton McGuinty BOHICA treatment? They got the govt they deserve, but they're taking my anus along for the ride, and I really, really don't fucking appreciate it.


We're Number 29, We're Number 29...

Yes, dear reader, the Maple Pucks managed to squeeze out a win against the Islanders. Woo hoo, they've managed to scrape and claw their way to within one point of 28th place. Yes, after their vaunted points in, what, 8 of the last 10 games they've moved up from a tenuous hold on 29th to having an absolute LOCK on 29th place. Yay.

One point to a three way tie for 26th, 2 points to a 5 way tie for 21st and, god help me, only 5 points out of a playoff spot. Seriously? 3 more wins and they could (theoretically, if not practically) be sitting in a playoff position. Be still my heart.

But, on the off chance a Leaf fan is reading this, let's keep it real. I wrote that they'd have a decent shot at the playoffs this year, although would not be a shoo in, and an early exit. Hey, all I want is for Boston's first round "Kessel" pick not be in the top 5. It's not that I have anything in particular against Boston, it's not even that I have anything in particular against Boston fans. Hell, it's not that I have anything in particular against the die hard Maple Puck heads (dumb though they are). It's just that I can't stand the die hard Leaf haters. I. Just. Can't. Fucking. Stand. Them.

Look, assholes, we all know the Leafs suck. We all know the organization will turn a profit no matter what. And we all know the reasons for it (which I will not go into here). We also know you hate the Leafs, and no, excepting the real morons, we are not planning the parade route. So shut the fuck up already. They're playing reasonably well, they're entertaining to watch, and they generally aren't stinking up the joint. So, seriously, shut the fuck up and let us enjoy the game.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Why Canada Sucks, Marc Lepine Memorial Day Edition

How on earth did I miss it. I posted a bunch of the usual random nonsense yesterday, and yet managed to miss Gamil Garbi Memorial Day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not what the hed says, it says "Marc Lepine" Memorial Day. That's only because the M(uslim) S(ucking) M(edia) has been whitewashing mooselimb violence a lot longer than since 9-11. He was born Gamil Garbi and self identified as a Muslim, and I'm damned if I'm going to fall into the femifister narrative and call him Lepine.

Reading Cathy Schaidle I found out that, a mere 20 years later, 7 years after Mark Steyn first noted it, the M(oronically) S(tupid) M(edia) has dipped its big toe in the pool, noting that Garbi was raised by a Muslim. Not, mind you, as Steyn puts it a bit more accurately:
M. Lepine was born Gamil Gharbi, the son of an Algerian Muslim wife-beater, whose brutalized spouse told the court at their divorce hearing that her husband "had a total disdain for women and believed they were intended only to serve men."
Wow, welcome to the party, geniuses. And, of course, you must stop there. Don't note that bit about taking the French name as an adult. Noooo, that would really fuck up the standard "all men are rapists in waiting" narrative. If that narrative crashes down then you're going to have to look at the implications.

What are they? Let's hearken back to here, and start with, we're a nation of pussies. Garbi walked in the door and ordered the men out. Out they went, and the shooting began. Anyone go back? Come on, you all know the story, it's told about 68 billion times every "never hear the end of it month" (thank you for that one Cathy Schaidle, I bloody love it); no one went back, the "rampage" ended when Garbi killed himself.

So, we're a nation of pussies. A fundamental precept of our society used to be "women and children first." Thanks to the late, unlamented and never to be sufficiently cursed Pierre Fucking Eliot Fucking Trudeau (I don't really know how much can truly be laid at his feet, I just like typing the phrase, and what the hell, the arrogant prick was responsible for so much of the ruination of this country that it just seems appropriate), and 40 years of total state mandated pussification, the women got thrown under the bus. Any society which does not seek to protect the women and children at the expense of the men is doomed. So, how's that for an implication of Gamil Garbi Memorial Day? It exposes a major fault which dooms us.

What else? Who got killed? The women. Why? Because the men were pussies. Why? Because we've pussified our society. At whose behest? The women. Holy "be careful what you wish for, Feminazis, you might just get it." The annoying "all men are rapists" crowd has pushed for the castration of the western male for my entire lifetime. Well, bitches, you got it. How do you like the taste? Ooooh, if I actually had readers, I'd probably catch me some shit for that one.

Let's look at that some more. Garbi's complaint was that the feminists were keeping him down.
Used to was that engineering was a man's profession. Used to was that nursing was a woman's profession. The "sex barrier" in one of these has suffered a full frontal assault from the forces of stupidity, going back to before I went to university. Hmmm, I wonder if there was actual merit in his claim that the feminists were keeping him down. Nah, the fact that he was dumber than Obama was what was keeping him down, but having been raised as he was, and seeing that women get preferential admissions to university, and especially engineering (which he wanted to attend) gave him his battle cry.

Lesson to be learned? None. Sexist admissions policies are unfair, unjust and an abrogation of the natural rights of man, but they don't justify mass murder, and we shouldn't be taking Garbi's excuse at face value anyway. The man was a fucking psycho, raised to hate women, and a fucking 'tard to boot. There's your lesson, psychos are psychos.

And that means you, too, fisters. His "the feminists are keeping me down" rhetoric is not a club you can use to beat all men. Which is actually a good lesson to take from this, to wit, don't blame classes of people for the acts of individuals. Of course, the fister 'tards aren't going to learn that particular lesson. They'd have to have actual brain cells for that.

So, why use this for a "Why Canada Sucks" post? What was the response to Garbi's rampage? Well, we lower the flags to half mast in his honour. We've implemented more male pussification and done so more aggressively. We've got more gun control (and every day I seem to read about another shooting in Toronto. How's that 2 billion dollar gun registry working out for ya?). And we've got ever more endless rhetoric about how awful men are.

Yes, because the son of a woman hatin' wife beater turned out to be a woman hater, I must self-flaggelate every Dec. 6 to purge the original sin of having a penis. Guess what, I ain't gonna. Real men don't beat women, and I'm not going to apologize for having testicles just because someone with testicles did something bad. Instead, I'm going to insist, starting on this 20th anniversary, that the Feminazi fister retards start apologizing for the castration of the Canadian male, and begging forgiveness for being the root cause of the Ecole Polytechnique massacre.

Oh, and if you're still with me to this point, why do I call it Marc Lepine Memorial Day? Name one of his victims. They've disappeared from the narrative, and all that's left is Garbi (in his French Canadian form). And the Feminazi fister retards can also start apologizing for that.