Hockey Wrapup

Okay, time to clear the decks a bit. Let's start with hockey.

Hoo boy did I miss the boat on the Loaf's season. I seem to recall opining that they'd be in tough to make the playoffs, but there was no particular reason they couldn't do it. Hmm, 29th place in a 30 team league. Yeah, that crow I had for dinner in March was simply delicious.

Okay, I was way wrong on the result, but I stand by my analysis. There was no reason that the Leafs, as they were constituted in the pre season, shouldn't have been at least contending for a playoff spot, leastwise on paper. There was something poisonous in that dressing room. Dunno what it was, but, considering the talent that was there, and the additions Burke made, they really ought not to have been a 29th place team. I guess that's why we have the play games, to determine such things.

Oh, and to all the people castigating Burke for selling the farm for Phil Kessel. His analysis was probably not that different from mine. The team should not have placed 29th, so he should not have been giving up a franchise player in the draft. So, when he says, he'd do the trade over again he's not being an idiot, he's simply admitting that with the information he had at the time, it was a decent trade. Unless, of course, he's saying that he considers Kessel to be a franchise player, in which case he really is a fucking idiot.

Onward.

So, the Blackhawks have ended their 49 year cup drought, leaving the Leafs as the team with the longest running drought. Think they'll win it before 2016? Or are they going to enter Rangers territory for time between cups. If I were a betting man, I'd say, watch out Rangers, your 54 year record of futility is officially under challenge.

Anyway, on to the cup. A friend lives in very much not a hockey hotbed, and has a friend who's a Flyers fan. I wrote to him that, while knowing a Flyers fan would suck, hey, look on the bright side, they lost.

Yes, Mary Ann "the passenger" Hossa finally found a team with the talent and drive to carry his useless, moody, over paid, talented yet under performing, eye-hacking ass to a Stanley Cup parade. Only took 4 teams and 3 finals to do it. An what a tribute it is to Toews. Crosby couldn't get Hossa a cup. The freaking Stockholm Red Wings couldn't get him a cup, but Toews, Kane, et all could.

Y'know, ol' fulminandrew must confess, it got really fucking tiring hearing the commentary during these playoffs. Hossa this, Hossa that and Hossa the other. He must have been really valuable, right? Like the fucking MVP, right? No, wait, that was Toews. So he must have won the playoff scoring race then. No, that was Briere (followed by Toews, who saw the best defense and checkers every shift). Okay, then, he must have scored the cup winner, at least. No, that was Kane. Hmm, tell me again why Mr. October is worth 50 million dollars? Oh, got it, the other team is afraid for their vision.

And speaking of obnoxious fans. Yes, Flyers fans are assholes, but they don't have a patch on Montreal fans. Would I like to see the cup come back to Canada? Hell yeah. Would I cheer for that city to be Montreal? Hell no, and not because I'm a Leafs fan. Because I can't fucking stand Montreal fans. Consider the team without Patrick Roy in 86 and 93. Do they win the cup? 86 possibly, but unlikely, 93, not only no, but HELL NO. So, really, since the team fired Bowman back in, what, 1980, it's been as poorly run a piece of shit as the Leafs. Just try to get a Montreal fan to admit it.

Yeah, but they had Roy in 86 and 93, and won the cup. Won the cup, yes, but not because of the brilliance with which the team was run. Hell, look at this year's team. Was that a final 4 team? Don't think so, that was a final 4 goaltending performance. But that's okay, Montreal, you keep signing 2nd line players for 1st line money, and while you're at it, sign Halak to a monster deal. Maybe he is the next Roy/Brodeur. And maybe he will single handedly win you another cup.

Read in the Sun today that now is Gary the weasel's chance to do hockey some good. Ride the momentum of the highest rated final in years to expand hockey. Quick, seize the opportunity to get franchises in Winnipeg, Quebec and Southern Ontario.

Dude, what the fuck are you smoking? Bettman is going to ride his "hockey in the sun belt" hobby horse until either (1) the governors come to their senses and fire the schmuck, or (2) the league goes bankrupt. Seriously, in the 90's the man couldn't get hockey out of Canada fast enough, and still wants to move to Kansas and Vegas. NHL hockey back to Canada? Bettman ain't gonna do it. This would be the man who talked the league into buying the Coyotes to keep them in the desert (where they lost another 20 mil this year). Back to the 'Peg? Please.

Enough. Serious crapola to follow.

And maybe more hot Asian chicks.