Why Canada Sucks, Part IV, the Weather

God I hate the climate in this fucking country. Oh, sure, it could be worse, the year I spent in southern China was, weather wise, a sojourn through one of the inner rings of Hell. But still...

As the name at the end of the post implies, I live in Ontario. In fact, South Central Ontario, nicely nestled in amongst the Great Lakes. So it's always damp. Oh, sure, in the winter we call it snowy, and in the summer we call it muggy, but those are fancy words for, respectively, cold and damp, and hot and damp.

Have you ever met someone from Phoenix who tells you, "Sure its 110 degrees, but it's a DRY heat," as if that makes a difference? Well, guess what? It does. 5 years I lived in the Denver 'burbs and the only time my fuckered up joints ached was when I left the state. For those interested, the front range is pretty much desert. Sunny, warm and dry, beautifully dry.

Now we're in high summer, and the goddamned temperature can't climb into the mid 20's. Fer chrissake, warm up would you? If I have to suffer this frigging country, at least let me wear shorts in July. Global warming my frozen, aching hairy toes.